My manager has a habit of assigning new tasks near EOD (literally like a few minutes before) and expecting them to be completed on the same day. These are not urgent business-critical issues or emergencies. In most cases, the work could realistically be completed by the end of the week without any impact. Unfortunately I can’t disclose too much because I know they lurk on reddit but I do know the timeline is unrealistic because other teams in our dept are given much more leeway for similar tasks by other managers. What makes this difficult is that there seems to be an expectation that employees will stay late to accommodate these last-minute requests. If I don’t stay back to ensure completion, I’m often lectured about it afterwards. I’ve also heard of other team members being threatened with PIP for not meeting these kinds of deadlines, even when the work was assigned with very little notice. This isn’t a one-off occurrence. It’s been a consistent pattern for a long time. Multiple team members have already raised feedback directly to the manager and even to their skip-level manager, but the behaviour hasn’t changed. What should I do? I like this job but working with this manager is driving me insane.

Is there a good resource for how to have those difficult conversations? is there any scientific consensus on how best to give someone negative/constructive criticism? I have an employee whose laziness is actively damaging other employees experiences at work. regularly not doing her job and therefore making others pick up her slack. She is incredibly sweet and most people do like her, but she is now getting more complaints from others on her performance. I'm just curious on how others find best to give feedback that isnt positive.

I'd like to retire now, do I have enough?

I’m a manager at a growing company and recently absorbed a significant amount of responsibility after a senior leader left. My role now includes more ownership over team performance, hiring, escalations, cross-functional coordination, and strategic work. I’m already known internally as someone who wants to grow into a higher-level role, so I’m trying to be thoughtful about how I raise this. The issue: I currently have a direct report whose base + bonus is higher than my total cash compensation, and another direct report will be in the same position soon. We’re also hiring a lead-level IC role with no people management responsibilities, and the proposed base may be higher than mine. I understand specialized ICs can sometimes out-earn managers, and I don’t want to come across as objecting to anyone else’s pay. But given the expanded scope of my role, this feels like a broader compensation calibration issue. For managers who have navigated this: how would you raise it with senior leadership?

Although I am new to management I’m not new to leadership/ high visibility roles. I pride myself on being articulate, direct and quick on my feet. But WHY Am I struggling to deliver difficult feedback and tell someone they aren’t meeting expectations (for reference the associate I’m referring to debates most of what I say) I find myself a bit timid and stumbling a bit on words. I think part of it is I’m trying to be firm- but not too firm. So I’m stuck my head. Does anyone have guidance? I’m trying to give myself grace- that this is a new skill that I need to practice. Today I had the difficult conversation so giving myself credit there. Hoping I can master these conversations going forward with more clarity and confidence. Any guidance/ tips are appreciated!

I have worked in Staffing for the past 10 years. I am currently a Selling Branch Manager in north GA. I have been in this role for 6 years. I recently found out my company is bringing in managers close to my base salary that have zero experience in sales or really management. They actually offered a salary to my staffing manager close to mine, I make $71k and they were going to offer her $65k-$70k. We are a midsize company. I have led 2 different branches and was the #1 sales rep last year and have consistently been in the top. I came from a small office in west GA when I started here in 2020 so I think I was taken advantage of with my starting salary. I am having a conversation with my boss tomorrow about my pay. What should I negotiate? I have considered changing roles and have interviewed a few places. I do make commission as well. I have a ridiculous noncompete that makes changing jobs difficult.

I start Monday. I’m listening to extreme ownership. I earned the position. So it’s up to me to lose it but I want to be the manager I’ve never had.

I know the answer to this is painfully obvious, but I thought I would ask anyway. I’ve been at my job for nine months now. I initially took the job because I really liked the CFO, but sadly he left after only six months and we now have a new CFO. I was concerned at first, but me and him actually grew really close as well. He is the complete opposite to the old CFO; hands-off and very rigid in his thinking, but we both have a soft spot for each other and he’s given me a lot more senior work which has been great for my progression. Anyway, he recently appointed a head of finance who initially came in very over bearing but I fought hard to keep my autonomy and it seems things are calming down now. However, there has been a lot of disruption and drama due to this, to the point my new CFO has lost his trust in me. He wanted to give me more direct reports initially, but he’s since changed his mind after seeing how “difficult” I am with the new head of finance. Because of all this difficulty I started looking for a new job and in 1-2 weeks I’ve secured a job offer for £10k more money (over 10% pay jump) and better job title. So no brainer right? Take this job! But… I am heavily emotionally invested in this job. I brought in a direct report who I feel I will be abandoning if I left, and I love what I do. I’ve made a lot of connections here and have made a real impact (even if it’s only me who thinks it lol). I know my CFO doesn’t want me to leave and we do have a good relationship in a lot of ways. I also feel my head of finance isn’t that great, but that will come out in due course - for now I quite like her! Now the main concern I have is that I’ve only been at this job for 9 months and I was only at my previous job for 3 months so if I hate my new job, I would be stuck there because my CV will start to look awful. I really don’t want to quit, but when I told my CFO about the job offer he told me that I’m draining and that if my attitude doesn’t improve he will be taking formal action. He said no pay rise is allowed as pay reviews have just been, but we can talk about a promotion. He told me he’s never praised anyone more and tried to tell me how much he appreciates me but he said all the wrong things. Basically, he is simultaneously trying to keep me but also be an arsehole. Anyway, what do you think? Is there any chance I could choose to stay without looking like a fool?

I’m a relatively new. I see everywhere to document everything but this is a concept I do not understand. What do I document? Where and what do I do with this information? I tried documenting in an electronic file, can’t keep it up. Things are documented inconsistently. What are your best practices and how do you document small behaviors that do not require escalation but do show a trend.

I’m looking for advice on improving employee morale and engagement within the constraints of what I can realistically influence. For context, our company has about 60 employees and has been around for nearly 20 years. It started as a small startup with very little structure and has only really begun professionalizing over the last five years. We’ve added an HR department, hired a CEO, improved communication between leadership and staff, expanded benefits, and generally moved toward a more structured organization. The challenge is that roughly a quarter of our workforce has been here since the company’s founding. Many were promoted into leadership roles based on tenure rather than qualifications, creating ongoing tension with their teams. Ownership has been extremely reluctant to address poor performance or conduct among some of these long-tenured employees, even when concerns have appeared in employee surveys for years. As a result, we now have a culture split: newer employees are generally excited about growth, structure, and opportunities, while some long-term employees openly resist change and operate as though expectations don’t apply to them. To help improve morale, our CEO created a committee of employees and leaders to plan three paid, on-the-clock engagement events each month. We have a budget of $500/month ($6,000 annually). Based on participation and feedback, we’ve been rotating between craft activities, games/outdoor activities, and food-centered events. Recent examples include: Mosaic coaster making, Mini canvas painting, A bracket-style Uno tournament , and A bagel and parfait breakfast bar. Participation is typically around 50% for games and crafts, while food events attract nearly everyone. However, most employees grab food and return to their desks rather than staying to socialize or take a break. We’ve also noticed that the employees who love crafts often dislike games, and vice versa, so we try to provide a variety of options throughout the month rather than expecting every event to appeal to everyone. The bigger issue is that a small but vocal group—many of whom are long-tenured employees and some of whom are managers—consistently criticize every event. They call the concept pointless, complain about the activities, and dismiss the effort, despite rarely offering alternative ideas. Even when 40 out of 60 employees attend and genuinely enjoy themselves, the negativity from the nonparticipants tends to overshadow the success and dampen enthusiasm afterward. To be clear, I understand these events cannot solve the deeper cultural and leadership issues within the organization. Those issues are real, and many are outside my control. However, this is the initiative I’ve been given ownership of, and I want to maximize its positive impact. I genuinely believe that giving employees opportunities to decompress, connect across departments, and better understand one another’s work can improve collaboration and morale over time. My questions are: 1.Given a budget of $500 per month, how could we make these events more valuable, engaging, and worthwhile for employees? 2.Are there alternative morale-building initiatives we could implement within the same budget that might have a greater impact? 3.How do you keep a small group of highly negative employees from undermining engagement efforts and discouraging those who do participate? At this point, it’s becoming discouraging for our planning team to invest significant time and energy into these events only to have the same group of people dismiss them regardless of the outcome. I know that’s ultimately a larger culture issue, but I’m looking for ideas that are within my sphere of influence and budget. Sorry that’s a lot to read but any advice is SERIOUSLY appreciated. Edit: to clarify for others- the events are NOT mandatory to attend for staff. It’s only required that me and my team plan,attend, and host them. We are the ones being required to be there and are also the only ones that get reprimanded if engagement with them is low. It’s a KPI for my team. Leaders are dead set on these events happening. It’s not my choice. I’m just the staff member assigned to this, and I’m trying to make the most of it, and or trying to build a solid pitch for an alternative use of the funds. And nearly 30 of our employees specifically requested the crafting events… directly. So like I’m just including that because staff directly came to us, often, and asked for more activities like that. Same with the board games. 😭

I joined this project about 2 weeks ago and I'm drowning a bit. There's a soft launch in ~4 weeks and a big one in 9 weeks. I want a gut check on whether I'm handling the team side right. The situation: **Infra isn't ours yet.** We're mid-migration to a new cloud provider and waiting on a nonprofit grant to approve the account, so we can't have any deployments. Worst part is they had 4 weeks before me joining to sort this out but didn't. Same story with our project management tooling — waiting on another nonprofit grant before I can setup a proper task board and backlog, so now I'm stuck working with an inferior platform that reduces clarity. **The backlog is a mess.** ~70 tickets, maybe 40 of them unclear or unscoped. I'm still learning how the product actually works while grooming with two non-technical client stakeholders who can't really make informed calls, so I end up handing them my not that well informed decisions to rubber-stamp. **The dev team has no visible initiative.** I have 3 devs. The tech lead pours all his time into infra and obscure tech-debt refactors that don't even have proper tickets — he's speedrunning toward burnout and seems to be a total control freak. The second full-time dev quietly ships fixes with almost no communication. The third dev is part-time and seems to be doing basically nothing, just a task or two for visibility while he focuses on his fulltime position somewhere else. During my second week I told them to start posting daily updates in the chat, and this week we started daily standup meetings. My goal is to agree on priorities, do a workshop, get some estimates, communicate the proposed actuon plan to the client, and start delivering. But when we discuss features, devs argue for ideal refactors and perfect solutions instead of what gets us to launch. I see perfectionism but no initiative, no ownership, no technical investigations or proper scoping — just devs pushing back without regard for the client's deadlines. **No estimates, no roadmap.** Two weeks in, it's effectively me plus the team, and we still don't have estimates or a roadmap. Another senior tech lead was assigned to this project from day one (around 5 weeks ago) and was supposed to provide the technical evaluation and set the roadmap and action plan - but so far all he's done is set up some intro meetings and send a few emails, and frankly enabled curent lead dev's bad decisions (which is why we still have no infra and no proper tooling) around 4-5 weeks total into the project. Sure, we'll save the nonprofit client some money this way, but we're working at 40% capacity at best due to these constraints, so we've already burned through more money than we'll ever save them long-term, and continue to do so with such inefficiency. My biggest fear is that we won't deliver in time and the project won't be extended with us after 3 months. How do I stop engineering from over-engineering and gold-plating, while also not letting delivery drag? How do I create urgency and accountability when I'm new, don't fully know the product yet, and don't have the usual tooling to make work visible? How do you get a team to start scoping to "what does this milestone or a refactor actually need"? Shoud I pause all coding tasks? How do you handle a tech lead who disappears into infra/refactors with no tickets to show for it and lets his principles cause major delays? What's the right move with a developer who isn't producing - process fix or direct conversation? Is it reasonable this early to draw a hard line like "if it's not a ticket, it's not in the sprint"?

Hi there, I am an IC, and currently looking to grow in my career. My current workplace doesn't offer these steps and everything seems to be pretty stagnant here. Our roles shifted significantly in the org to the point where we had to learn our new roles from scratch. Not just pick up new skills, but our entire function changed. It's the equivalent of asking a food chemist that specializes in shelf stable products to become a line chef is basically what happened to us. I believe my manager is understanding of why what we are doing now isn't aligning with my career or the original job at all. I think she would understand why I'm looking. That being said, I have questions for those who are managers and I was hoping I could get insight. 1) is it ever okay for an employee to ask their direct manager to use them as a reference? Or should I keep my job hunt completely under wraps to the best of my ability? 2) I've actually started job hunting in April, received and politely declined a job offer, then actually made it to the third round at another place but lost out to another candidate. 3) My question for hiring managers is: what is a make or break decision if it's a close call between two candidates? What's something in common candidates have that makes you go "that's the one!"? And also, what is something you never knew before you became a manager that you now think about differently? It could be how you interviewed changed, how you go about work changed, or what you value you a coworker.

Hi all, I am 6 months into my first people management role, which is maternity cover, so around 6 months to go. I was promoted from IC to manager. ​ I have been dealing with an extremely difficult report, who joined the company just a few months before I started managing the team. He has health and mental health issues, and has run out of full pay sick leave (this is UK, so he still receives statutory sick pay) and it's looking increasingly likely that we will need to let him go because he's just not the right fit for the job. He's on an informal PIP at the moment, en route to a formal PIP with HR involvement. ​ Dealing with this situation is consuming me. I used to think I was someone who thrives under pressure, but this situation is starting to break me. I'm thinking about this pretty much everyday, whether at work or not, I'm having trouble sleeping, I've had to take some time off work due to stress and just being unable to focus, I'm often on the verge of tears for literally no reason, and almost broke down crying in the middle of my local supermarket recently. My manager and skip manager are both supportive, but that doesn't ease the stress. I hate having to monitor and nitpick everything this person does and then have to provide negative feedback on his performance, all while navigating his health issues as well. I'm starting therapy to get help with managing the stress, and at this point my goal is to just survive this situation - any grand goals around my or my team's performance are secondary to me at this point. ​ Has anyone had a similar experience, or seen someone crumble under the pressure of management like this? I'm starting to think this kind of role just isn't for me, maybe. I'm enjoying and think I'm good at other aspects of the job, including managing my less demanding reports, but I do NOT want to deal with a situation like this again. Everyone, including my company's HR, keeps saying "this is the most difficult situation you'll likely ever deal with as a manager", so should I stick it out? As this is maternity cover, there's a very real possibility I'll just go back to my IC job in 6 months and be done with this, but there's also a real possibility that they'll ask me to take on a permanent management role, which at this point I'm not sure I want!

This is long but please stay with me. I get to the point at the end I promise. I have been the manager in my current role for almost 1 year. When I was hired here, I was told that the former manager, and even her supervisor, were horrendous to the team. The two departments in our clinic were siloed, team members afraid to talk to or connect with one another, they were tricked into thinking the "other side" was out to get them, it was really bad. I made it my mission to help improve the culture and make this a safe, collaborative and positive work environment for everyone. I was successful in this in my former jobs as a manager and was confident I could do it again. I also didn't always have that environment for myself before I became a manager, and I felt that I, and everyone else, deserve to come into work feeling appreciated, welcomed, safe, etc. So over the past year we have made a lot of changes and and its been so rewarding to see the outcomes so far. Through this process, we terminated one poor performer with poor attitude and poor work ethic, and another team member essentially broke the law and went against organizational policy, tried to lie about it, got caught, and quit once found out because she didn't want to be fired. She was the one who "took care of everyone and was the office mom" during former leadership's time here. She became the safe space for everyone. However, she was manipulative and was able to get away with controlling a lot of different things because she flew under the radar during all of the former leadership chaos. Acted as if she knew better than everyone and influenced the front desk team and poisoned the front desk team against anyone who didn't agree with her. The front desk team of course believed her because she was the "safe space office mom" and they were like ducklings without a mother at that time because the former manager was so bad. Fast forward to now: Former toxic leadership gone. Bad apples gone. However, what now remains within our front desk team is this residual negative energy. While the rest of the team (about 25 people) have all come together, built relationships, healed past narratives, the front desk team is still hanging on to the past. They seem bitter, annoyed, unwilling to collaborate, roll eyes during meetings, complain a lot, and they fixate on individuals and make formal complaints when they don't agree with something. They sometime bypass me as the manager and don't even give me an opportunity to help them or connect with them. I've tried everything I can think of. 1:1s, team meetings, rotating seats and tasks, asking for their feedback on different things, trying to understand their perspectives, and nothing seems to work. I try to show them I appreciate them and they are safe and appreciated every day. I don't think they are bad people, I think they were lost under poor management and were led astray. I really care about them and I want to fix this. Their poor attitudes are making other team members uncomfortable because of how unapproachable they are and I don't know what else to do. It's like even after a whole year they don't trust me or anyone else. I wonder if the employee who got fired was poisoning my team against me as well even though she was nice to my face. I have not actually sat down with each of them individually yet to address this, but I want to, I just don't know what the best way is. How can I professionally say "your attitude sucks, knock it off" and get to the root of what is going on? It makes me feel like a weak manager. The other team members have given me great feedback which I appreciate so much. I guess I am hoping to hear some advice from any other managers or leaders out there. Is it possible to turn bad attitudes around? I don't know how else to get through to this front desk team. Thank you!!

I'm being offered my boss's position, as a manager over <10 employees. I'm very trepidatious about accepting, it's not something I ever saw myself doing. Looking to learn what text books couldn't teach me.

I'm very curious to hear about this from my fellow managers. I know different managers appreciate different qualities in their team. For me, I love people who are honest, communicate clearly, and genuinely care about and work on their performance. Honesty and clear communication may sound cliche, but they're actually not so commonly found in people. I have worked with dozens of folks over almost a decade to observe that. People lie, they point fingers even if the culture is safe to accept your mistakes and learn from them. They'll practice vague communication like anything and won't improve no matter how much helpful feedback they receive. If you're in comms or a good communicator in general, you definitely know and understand the pain of poor communication at work. Your turn now haha 😄

I have a challenging employee, who continually tries to bend the rules to her will. Three specific rules she has flouted time and again. Recently, after completing a large body of work, she managed to snap all of these rules in half on the way out the door for some leave. She subsequently suffered a loss in her family and has been away longer than initially anticipated. The policy case is strong, but I need to address all of the things without burning the world down. She is due back on Monday, and I’m trying to find the right approach to managing the situation. She does not take verbal feedback well unless it is praise, and a discussion with my manager has confirmed that they agree that the discipline discussion must be had. I’ve been trying to get them on board for an eternity, but it has taken two complaints from other team members and an observation by someone acting in my manager’s role for her to realise that had we dealt with it as requested two years ago, we wouldn’t be here. Given her limited capacity for listening and the need for clarity, a leading email/emails is probably needed before any conversation. I have drafted it, but am not quite sure about it yet. So I am not all that sure how to proceed, and happy to hear from the room here on this one. I need to acknowledge the loss, that is important and will be expected, as well as being simply the right thing to do. But I also need to get across, in clear terms, that while her work is appreciated, some of her behaviour is not. The way she performs under workload is unprofessional, despite her refusing to hand anything over, and it’s resulted in complaints from other staff on two occasions now. Secondly, she’s taking liberties with the use of time off in lieu, not following the process, and expecting to be able to take it anyway. She pulled a total ‘mic drop’ the day before she was due to go on leave, announcing she was taking TIL very late at night, without prior approval. Which brings us to the third item - despite clear instructions not to, and plenty of practical suggestions on how to prevent cognitive loss or overload while respecting the work-life balance of others, she continues to message and email at all hours - directly contravening policy. Happy to consider any advice on how you’d separate these and deliver them. I have a track record of being consistently empathetic but also of ensuring consistent adherence to policy, so neither will feel off kilter, just a bit uncomfortably close together.

For context, I’ve been a supervisor for 6.5 years and have a small team of 3. (I work in a union environment in government, not US) Two and half years ago my direct manager and I hired an external candidate for a vacancy (she was recommended by her friend who works in a different department in the organization). This employee was fine during probation but then as time went on, her personal issues began bleeding into her work performance. (She has mental health issues from what I have observed) Long story short, she has had a Letter of Expectation and two disciplinary letters put into her file. (For disrespectful communication and insubordination respectively) HR agrees that this isn’t a one off and a pattern that is already there. Needless to say, she wants to leave the team and is in the running for another role in the organization (1 year term); I had to give an internal referral check to HR - I was honest but still professional and did mention behavioural issues and advised HR to look into her personnel file. Whether or not that will affect her getting this internal job remains to be seen. Another supervisor who is more experienced has told me candidly, “don’t take it personally and be glad when she leaves so she’s no longer your problem”. I’ve had other employees move on because they were not happy (the workload and a few other factors, including staff turnover) They seem to be happier in their current posts. Admittedly I was not the best supervisor when I first got promoted and I struggled, especially when my direct manager at the time did not provide support (he does not like managing people) Yet this current situation seems to be getting to me more than it should. My manager is seasoned and has done lots of disciplinary action in a previous job and is very pragmatic. How do you not take things personally when you know you’re doing your job by calling out employees and holding them accountable, etc.? It makes me question my abilities at times. My current manager and Executive Director have my back and neither one of them likes this problematic employee. My ED has told me that I’m reasonable and she thinks this employee has sociopathic behaviour. (My ED is very astute) TLDR: How not to take things personally when an unhappy employee (whom you’ve had to discipline) wants to leave?

Hi. The manager sent an email directing junior employees (like the lowest on the chart) not to have "hallway conversations" with more senior staff. That feels odd; most interactions are short work-related questions, with the rest being normal human conversations (the usual "How are you?" "Did you see this or that news clip?"). In what situations would such a rule be reasonable, and when would it be unreasonable? This is an academic-adjacent organization\*

About 18 months ago, I was promoted to manage a service region. About 6 months after that, we did an internal realignment where I took over managing all of North America, and picked up 9 new people under me (5 people who were under me went to a new team, netting a 4 employee gain). &#x200B; (Long story short, we used to be grouped by geographic region, we changed to being grouped by equipment we support, so my new team is guys who I worked with before, since we are on the same equipment, but they were previously under different regions) &#x200B; We are all remote, including myself, so I've been flying out to meet every one of my team for a week, spending a week in the field with them, just getting to know them, and taking them out for a dinner. Before I was promoted, we all worked together on a loose basis, and now, with the realignment, we are all on a single team. My goal is to answer any questions they have, address any concerns, and thank them. Most of us have been remote since we were hired so we never go to the company holidays/parties/events, so this is my way to give them a little perk. &#x200B; One of my strongest employees is also one of my worst. To explain, he is extremely knowledgeable. One of the best technical people I have. He knows his stuff and helps others. &#x200B; On the flip side, he knows that and has a bit of an ego with it. He, in a mostly joking matter but also semi-serious, calls himself "The Doctor." He refuses to submit any paperwork or turn in his hours without being hounded (they are all salaried non exempt. So they get their salary, plus overtime. In addition, we need to invoice hours to our customers, so we need him to submit his hours to do that). Eventually, after several calls and emails, he'll get his paperwork in, but it's usually weeks past due. (We usually ask for everything to be submitted within 10 days of being "done") &#x200B; I talked to his former manager and his manager before that, and this has been an issue for 15 years now. He's also happy doing his thing. He has zero interest in moving up. He's happy just doing his job and going home. He travels and enjoys that, so it's not a guy who got passed over and is resentful. He's been asked to interview for higher level positions and always declines to even apply. &#x200B; This has obviously been addressed with him by other managers in the past, and nothing has taken. He's never been put on a PIP, and I don't want it to come to that, as again, his knowledge and skill are invaluable, but he also knows that and think he kinda has an untouchable attitude. &#x200B; What is the best course to get him on track?

A few years back, right as our non-retirement liquid assets were creeping up toward the $4 mil mark, our financial adviser suggested we bump our umbrella insurance limit from $1 mil to $4 mil. We just went ahead and did it. Well, last year we officially crossed that $4 mil threshold, and looking at our current trajectory, it’s highly likely we’ll hit $7 or $8 mil in the near future... hopefully locking in our early retirement. Now the big question is... do we scale up our umbrella coverage to completely match our non-retirement assets? (From what I gather, our primary home and retirement funds are mostly shielded from litigation anyway). I’m honestly not even sure if our regular, everyday insurance carrier - we just do the basic auto + home bundle with them - even offers options beyond $4 or $5 mil, or if we need to transition to high net worth insurance at this point? For context, neither of us is in a high-risk or litigious profession, we are both corporate W2 employees, and we don't own any side businesses or rental properties. Everything is just tied up in index funds. Just to clarify since a few people might ask - the adviser who originally told us to increase the limit to $4mil doesn't actually sell insurance products himself and had zero financial gain from giving that tip. He's a strict fiduciary. When WE did up the limit last time, our standard insurance company grilled me pretty hard over the phone about why exactly I wanted to increase it so much before they finally pushed it through. Just to give you the full financial picture of where we're at. We currently have roughly $1.2 mil in a 401(k), about $400k split between traditional/Roth IRAs, and around $5.5 mil in taxable brokerage accounts. We also have a house worth about $850k that is completely paid off. My understanding is that even things like the 401(k) have federal protection limits around $1.5 mil, so we might be hitting the ceiling on that side of things too. What do you guys think? Do you keep expanding your umbrella limit indefinitely as the portfolio grows?

How did the manager handle it? Was the manager your report? What input did you give them? What happened to the high performer? &#x200B; I'm trying to understand the dynamic between manager and their tech leads and or high performers. What does a good relationship between these two look like. What can the manager do to improve this dynamic?

Throwaway account. Mods, feel free to remove if this is not appropriate. Think we're (early 30's DINKWADs) ready to pull the trigger and quit our jobs / possibly retire but wanted to get a sense check from the community here, as we've been avidly following for the last 6+ years and value the collective wisdom. We currently work in finance + consulting and make \~$900k HHI. The pay is obviously great and painful to give up at this point in our careers, but the stress has become untenable for both of us (one of us just went to urgent care for what seemed like a panic attack) and we're somewhat frugal by nature so this has always been the goal (share a 15+ year old car and last year saved \~80% of post tax income, though do love to travel and have some slightly expensive hobbies). Net worth is $4.5M, broken down as follows: * $2.0M Brokerage, mostly in VTI and VXUS * $1.1M Pre-tax 401k, of which half is in target date funds and half is in private equity investments through employee co-invest program * $0.8M Secondary home with no mortgage in MCOL city but would become primary residence once we leave our current VHCOL where we're renting for $5k/month * $0.3M Vested equity carry (likely to be 2-3x this amount in 2-5 years, but valuing it conservatively) * $0.3M Irrevocable trust that holds commercial real estate (also valued conservatively as it's a minority stake) * $0.2M Roth / HSA * $0.1M Cash (this is low because we have been using excess cash to pay down a portfolio loan and are also expecting some deferred comp to pay out another $150k post tax over the coming months) * \-$0.3M Portfolio backed loan at 6% interest that we're planning to pay off shortly Excluding interest / principal on the soon to be paid off loan, we'd be spending $100k per year after moving, which includes ACA health insurance premiums at a \~$60k expected MAGI and $25K on Travel & Entertainment. No kids (and don't currently have plans to), but if we changed our minds that could potentially shake up the plan given the expense. One set of parents currently gifts $38k per year (and has for the last several), and has made comments about how we'll be inheriting likely $10M+, but of course we don't count on that and hope it is not for a very long time as they're in their early 70's. There likely could be another $5M+ from the other set of parents but not factoring it in either. Seems like the math says we're good, as we'd be at a 2.6% withdrawal rate (off NW excluding home equity), which ticks up to low 3% depending on if you want to further haircut some of the less liquid investments (though I feel very good about them based on fund history / trajectory). We of course could always try to pick up other jobs down the line for less pay / less stress, and maybe would do that if we were bored / had to, but thinking we'll have plenty to do with travel, hobbies, hiking with our dog, working out, swimming in our pool, cooking, reading, spending time with family and friends, volunteering, and honestly just getting to unwind for a bit after what has been almost a decade of 60-80+ hour work weeks, lots of work travel, always being on call, etc. In terms of withdrawal plan, we'd plan to do annual Roth conversions at least up to the standard deduction, and then take advantage of the \~$100k of tax free cap gains for married couples while we wait for some of the illiquid investments to convert to cash over the next 3-5 years. And from a logistics perspective, barring everyone here thinking we're crazy, we're planning to tell our employers over the coming weeks / months, and then move into the house we own in the income tax free MCOL. Sorry for the long post, but wanted to get gut reactions from the group here on if this all seems reasonable or if you think we're making a big mistake?

Hi ChubbyFIRE folks, EDIT: I'm going to put more detail up here and rewrite it to be clearer. Age: 44 Spouse: 43 **Income**: $115k/year (spouse W2, plans to keep working for a few more decades) $10k/year employer 403b match. **Investments**: Taxable (joint): $760k HSA (me): $135k Trad IRA (me): $983k Roth IRA (me): $1.115m ($410k basis) Roth IRA (spouse): $220k ($80k basis) 403b (spouse): $635k Total investments: $3.87m **Real estate**: $1.5m primary residence **Debt**: $330k mortgage @ 2.375%, finishes in 2036 (payments are $54k/year, $40k is P&I) $55k solar install @ 1.99%, finishes in 2047, payments are $3.2k/year $156k box spread debt (current cost to buy back) @ 4.2% (3.36% net after capital losses from interest accrual). I am going to pay this off, see below. Portfolio: \~3.7m **Current Spending** Federal taxes: $6.5k (note: this was with $27k in cap gains, we are almost out of low basis lots though so taxes are going to increase going forward). State taxes: $5.7k Debt payments + property insurance/taxes: $57.2k (drops by $40k nominal in 2036). Other essential spend: $90k. Discretionary: $45k Portfolio withdrawals: $90k gross, $70k net ($90k comes out for spend, $20k goes into 403b, $70k net impact to overall portfolio value) There are two bridge periods. The trad IRA is at Robinhood and subject to a 3% transfer bonus retention period until 2029 and it is not safe to SEPP from it before then. I turn 59.5 in 2041, my wife in 2042. At that point the 10% early withdrawal penalty falls off the IRA, the 403b becomes accessible, and the roth earnings can be withdrawn tax and penalty free. If my wife leaves her job (no current plans to), the 403b would be rolled into a trad IRA and become accessible earlier (with the early withdrawal penalty). We have no legacy aspirations and are aiming to die with $0. I have been running some portfolio amortization tools lately (TPAW) and seeing that we are likely to be quite over-funded later in life. And we'd also like to spend more money now, if we can do so without significant risk to our base lifestyle. And we would like to pull more spending forward as we are less likely to want to travel/do as much in our 70s/80s/90s. I've run numbers on both the bridge-accessible funds over the bridge period, and the entire portfolio out to age 105 and it seems we can increase spending by roughly $50k-$60k annually right now, so long as we adjust down appropriately when the market drops. First, I am going to pay off the box debt. I took it out recently and won't take a big tax hit to pay it off. Aside from the fact that almost any financial planner wouldn't advise it and that we don't need the extra return it brings, it ties up too much liquidity in the taxable account. With our current spending I might stubbornly hold onto it, but if we are going to increase spending I need to close it out. I know between HSA (penalty/tax free for saved medical receipts) and Roth basis that I should use the HSA first. Should we drain the taxable account completely before tapping the other buckets? I am leaning towards not SEPPing the IRA, or only SEPPing part of it, so that we can increase spending if the market has good returns. If we SEPP the whole thing I think that adds a good chance that we have a big gap-up in spending when we hit 59.5 (to avoid dying with a large surplus), and we'd rather pull that spending forward if we can.

Hi all, looking for a sanity check on our FIRE plan. We're targeting retire-early around 45 and want to pressure-test whether adding a home purchase and a second kid keeps us on track, plus general thoughts on sequence-of-returns risk (SORR). Quick picture: M32 (almost 33)/ F31 (almost 32), one kid under 1, planning a second around 2027 VHCOL (SF Bay Area). Currently renting at $5,400/mo, which is well below what a comparable mortgage would cost Income: I'm in enterprise tech sales (W-2 base plus variable commission). My partner is currently a stay-at-home parent and runs her own ecommerce business part-time, drawing a modest salary from it. Household income is \~$222K base plus \~$150K variable, so \~$372K at full OTE Current annual spend: \~$132K (\~$12K/mo) for a family of three Savings while we're both working: roughly $40-50K in a soft commission year up to $100K+ with variable No real debt (cars owned outright, tiny portfolio line of credit) **Net worth, \~$2.25M total:** FIRE-investable base (what I actually count toward the number): \~$1.84M Taxable brokerage and roboadvisor, mostly low-cost index funds: \~$1.49M Tax-advantaged retirement accounts (401k/ IRA): \~$306K Note: \~$77K of the taxable side is a concentrated single stock left over from a former employer that I keep meaning to diversify into index funds The heavy taxable tilt is intentional, since most of the money is reachable before 59.5 to bridge an early retirement Cash: \~400K, but $385K of that is earmarked ($200K home down payment, $150K emergency, $35K set aside for taxes). \- Allocation is heavily equity-weighted right now with a light bond/cash sleeve. I plan to build a larger bond and cash buffer as I get closer to RE to manage SORR One thing I deliberately exclude from the base (treated as $0 until real): \- Pre-IPO RSUs from my current employer. One-year cliff that clears in 2027, and there's a potential liquidity event in the next \~12 months that could increase the value meaningfully. On paper it's a decently large number, but l don't count a dollar of it until it vests and is liquid The plan and the SWR math: Target RE age 45, about 13 years out, everything in real (inflation-adjusted) dollars If we kept renting at today's \~$132K spend: a 4% SWR implies \~$3.3M, and a more conservative 3.5% SWR implies \~$3.8M But the real plan includes buying a home (\~$2.0M to $2.4M in our area and a second kid, so I model a higher retirement spend of \~$160K to cover a mortgage, property tax, our own ACA healthcare, and the second child. That pushes the number to roughly $4.0M at 4%, or \~$4.6M at 3.5% Sequencing idea: let the 2027 equity event resolve first, use that liquidity for the down payment and closing costs so it doesn't compete with the FIRE portfolio, then keep the portfolio compounding toward the RE number Rough trajectory: \~$1.84M today compounding at \~6% real with $55K to $120K per year in contributions clears $4M by 45 even before any equity upside. I treat the equity as asymmetric upside, not part of the base plan What I'd love input on:  Does the sequence (resolve equity, then buy, then keep compounding to RE at 45) hold up, or am I underrating SORR by having a big illiquid equity event land right around the time we'd lean on the portfolio?  At a price-to-rent ratio around 34x in our area, does buying even make sense versus renting and investing the difference?  Anything in the second-kid cash flow or the ACA / healthcare assumptions I should stress-test harder? Thank you in advance!

Approaching FIRE next year. Six months ago I had $4M liquid, 10% of which I had in cash/fixed income. Then, seeing the run up in AI hardware, I just couldn’t help myself but buy into a few single stocks (SNDK, WDC, ARM, STX) with $200k of my cash. Those are now close to $800k (total portfolio just hit $5M). Selling it all and returning to cash would incur a ton of taxes. Instead, I am thinking about just keeping the positions and mentally accounting for it as “cash”…. Even if it crashed -75% I’d still be where I started. In the meantime I would *hodl* until the lots hit LTCG status and then liquidate up to the 0% tax bracket each year of FIRE. Good idea, bad idea, or terrible idea?

This thread is a spot for casual engagement with other community members. It has much more subject latitude than allowed in the main sub in general. Any topics tangentially related to ChubbyFIRE or upper middle class lifestyle are acceptable, as well as basic or early stage questions. Political discussion will be allowed if it is closely related to ChubbyFIRE or financial topics in general, and only if the conversation remains respectful. It is not a free-for all. No spam or self-promotion. All comments must still follow Reddiquette and we will be responding to reported comments with follow-up action as needed. We'd really like to keep this channel open, so please don't abuse it!

I am a DIY investor approaching early retirement (<1y) and have been self managing my portfolio. I use Boldin for retirement modeling, Monarch for budgeting, and am comfortable with the numbers. I am not looking for ongoing AUM management. I am seeking for an expert second opinion from a fiduciary who can review my plan, stress test my assumptions, and flag anything I may have missed. Ideally I want someone who charges a flat fee or hourly rate for a one time engagement, and/or possibly an annual review for the next few years until I build strong confidence in my plan. My focus areas are Bridge Account, Roth conversion strategy, Social Security timing, tax-efficient withdrawal sequencing, and MAGI/IRMAA management. Like many people here, I have been telling myself "just one more year" for the past 2 years. My Monte Carlo simulation is running at 90% and I feel ready, but the golden handcuffs keep pulling me back for one more year in corporate prison. I am targeting 2027 and cutting this handcuffs off. I am specifically looking for an advisor with **deep experience** who can provide informed, independent judgment, not someone who relies mostly on tools like RightCapital or eMoney to drive the scenario assessment and answers. I have looked at NAPFA and identified a few local firms, but would value recommendations from people who have actually worked with a fee only advisor in the SD/OC/LA areas. Any names or experiences — positive or negative — are appreciated.

Using a throwaway so I can be more transparent than normal. We lean expatFIRED at a relatively young age a number of years ago but continued to work on lots of various projects for fun and to potentially hit it big. After a variety of paths that didn't yield a whole lot, we stumbled into an amazing opportunity that perfectly suited our skills, experience and resources, and we ran with it at just the right time. Our timeline for NW in USD: 2017-2023: fluctuated between 1.6-2M mid-2026: \~5M projected 2029: \~8M We were always very leanFIRE-minded and somewhat out of nowhere we've leaped into Fat trajectory. Is this kind of transition rare? Obviously most people who RE aren't expecting to jump levels, but at the same time there must be people who experience a major windfall, or a boom in their investments, or an unexpected opportunity like we did. I was quite content with leanFIRE for many years, particularly since our geo-arbitrage allowed a pretty comfortable QOL, so there are certain aspects that are warping my brain a bit. For example: 1. Safety/security is something I worried very little about before and now I'm wading into this absolutely overwhelming new world of products, services and research. Is it necessary? Should I change how we travel with respect to safety/security? 2. How drastically should I change how I approach privacy? In the past I've spoken very openly about our leanFIRE journey. I've been on lots of podcasts, shared info with family and friends (including new ones), etc. But we've likely reached a point where we should not be so transparent. However our business has put us in the spotlight so it's not that simple. We're not the face of the business to our customers, but we certainly get attention on the business side which includes earned media and it would be very easy for people to assume we have a lot of money. In fact, it's likely that many people overestimate our wealth lol. Thanks for your thoughts!

I’m 35 with a 250k income and $2.8 mln NW. I’m a bit burned out at work and believe if I was just supporting myself I’d retire (my original target when I started saving for FIRE was $3 mln). However my girlfriend is in residency and very possible we start a family with a kid or two. Given her income potential and debts I have it in my head for myself to keep working until $5 mln. She says she would continue to work given she’s very passionate about her work, and probably since she’s barely into her career I don’t have a great gauge on how to set our target goal. We spend about $100k between the two of us as it sits today. In my head with a future family with kids maybe estimating $150k spend. Given these figures does $5 mln seem reasonable to account for future family plans? Not sure how other couples with kids have planned

Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChubbyFIRE/s/x4tBAGrXZ6 I posted here in the fall wondering if working another 6 months was worth it. I ended up retiring late May and all I can say is, the six months really helped me mentally prepare and say my goodbyes. I was more concerned with the financials (big 2025 tax bill I wanted to pay off.) The answer there is that it probably did not matter. I’m not sure how I would have felt if we didn’t have the incredible run we’ve had this year but seeing my portfolio bounce the way it has day to day makes the thought of working seem silly. But the mental preparation was huge. The last few months I slowly started telling people (the more I trusted them, the earlier) until finally in late February I made it public. Response was overwhelmingly positive. A few offers “what if we” but almost unanimously “great, congrats.” End date was end of April but a couple of trips were re-scheduled to May and I wanted to go to say my goodbyes to people I’d worked with for over a decade. All agreed and it was great (and cured me of wanting to travel for a while.) I spent most of the last month (between travels) prepping the people who would replace me. Built a bunch of “current issues” documents and moved a ton of files from my personal drive to team shares. Everyone has my number and an open invite to ask about stuff I was primary on. Pretty much got to walk around like an emeritus. Was a ton of fun. The past couple of (retired) weeks have been awesome. Everyday is a Saturday without having to rush through the things that need to get done. I’m busy as hell but never rushed. I still schedule the hell out of myself but there is zero anxiety. I went to Costco on a Tuesday. I golf when I’m hiding from housecleaner. I have a DIY portfolio that is a complete mess so I play with that some. Days are good. No real point to this post but maybe a little cheerleading. If you can and are wondering if you should: you should.

For those of you who are retired early, what does your allocation look like? Are you following the 60/40 stocks/bonds split, the golden ratio portfolio, 120 minus your age in stocks. I know this is subject to a bunch of situational variables that are going to change for each persons case but I'm just curious if you consider yourself chubby (LOL), how risky are you in retirement?

43M, targeting retirement at 50. Am I overshooting? Current situation: Associate Director in biotech earning $177k base + bonus + RSUs Military retirement related income: $93k/year Healthcare is largely covered through military retiree benefits. Rental property producing $25k/year net cash flow Investable assets: $850k Rental equity: $350k Current net worth: $1.2M. My plan is to continue working until age 50 and invest aggressively. Projected age 50: $2.1M investable portfolio $500k real estate equity 2.5M total net worth Military retirement income projected to $110k/year Healthcare is largely covered through military retiree benefits. Rental cash flow projected to $40k/year Total recurring income floor would be roughly $150k/year before touching the portfolio. My target spending is only $120k/year. Because of the military retirement income and rental cash flow, I likely wouldn’t need portfolio withdrawals to cover basic spending. Would you still work until 50 in this situation, or would you consider retiring earlier?

I retired earlier this year. I have a balance in traditional retirement accounts and I want to do Roth Conversions every year up to the top of the 24% tax bracket. I have never done this before, so please help me understand if I am screwing anything up. Here's my thinking. 250k Estimated income 60K Trad 401k contributions (made before I retired) 24K Standard deduction head of house hold \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ 166K Taxable income (250-60-24) 197K. Top of the 24% tax bracket, so this gives me 30K. Amount I can convert at 24% tax (197k-166K) Does this look right?

I'm preparing to retire soon, and my portfolio is currently mainly in VWRA. Because I am focusing more on wealth preservation and managing drawdowns, I decided to experiment and ask Gemini for optimal portfolio allocation advice. Interestingly, it proposed adding DBMF (a managed futures ETF) to diversify. To test this out, I used Claude to simulate how the portfolio would perform with different VWRA and DBMF splits. I also asked Claude to use reconstructed data for the pre-1990 values so I could see how it holds up over a much longer timeframe. Here is what the results showed (see [here](https://ibb.co/sv5X4P4V)) \* A 15-20% allocation to DBMF seems to be the optimal sweet spot. \* This split provided a really good trade-off between lowering maximum drawdowns (great for sequence of returns risk) while maintaining high returns. Has anyone else here used Gemini or other AI tools to ask for optimal portfolio allocation or drawdown strategies? Did it suggest anything surprising, and did you actually implement it?

I’m struggling to put value on ACA credits comparing a few different strategies. M37, HHI $500k, 2 kids under 5. I think post tax annual spend without mortgage would be around $130k, and with the mortgage about $160k. Mortgage rate is 3.4% and has about $440k debt. It looks like I would save about $4300 per year with ACA subsidies if I kept the MAGI at $85k, which feels pretty doable without the mortgage payments (cash, principle on liquidated investments, ROTH withdrawals to bridge the gap between $85k and $130k). Where I’m struggling is the mentality that the mortgage rate is great, keep investing at better returns and happily pay the mortgage at 3.4% for another 15-20 years, versus start aggressively paying that off to give myself a better chance at qualifying for ACA subsidies come early retirement in about 3-5 years. In the end these subsidies are $4300 per year, not going to make or break any strategy and perhaps more of a hassle/detrimental to the overall plan to try to achieve these by tapping into ROTH withdrawals early, paying off the house early rather than hucking those dollars into the market, etc. Just looking for advice as someone who is pretty new to the fire mindset, not great at math or investing, but recently checked numbers and feel like I could be a few years away.

**Tldr**: Late 40s | $5.7M USD Liquid | $140k Annual Spend. Retiring next year but getting cold feet. Is my cash buffer strategy sound? &#x200B; Hi all I'm in my late 40s, married with a 13-year-old kid, and am preparing to retire sometime next year. I live in Singapore, which is a high-cost-of-living country (note: Singapore does not have a capital gains tax). Here is a breakdown of my current financial situation (all figures in USD): **Assets & Portfolio** * $5.5Min IWDA/EIMI (90/10 split). * $270Kin SGD-denominated money market funds. * $380K in a separate child education portfolio (all in IWDA). * Home: Fully paid off. **Liabilities & Expenses** * Annual Expense: $140K. * Car Loan: $85K outstanding. I am on schedule to pay this off in 4 years (I cannot speed up the payment as the bank will charge a penalty). **My Retirement Strategy** I plan to keep around 3 years of expenses in cash/liquid assets. I will build this up by selling current stock and using my salary while I continue working until retirement. This is to ensure that I will not have to sell equities during a market crash. In a downturn scenario, I can likely reduce my spending to $120K yearly, meaning my cash buffer would last 3.5 years. **Questions:** 1. **Is my cash buffer sufficient?** The cash/money market fund portion of my portfolio will likely be around 7% of my total portfolio ($420K / 3 to 3.5 years of expenses). Is that enough in your opinion? I've read that the normal recommendation for a retirement portfolio is 20% in cash. However, I think that will significantly reduce the growth of the portfolio (I plan to leave a will for charity/my child). Ultimately, I think it makes more sense to think in terms of annual spend instead of a proportion of the portfolio. 2. **Does the above look sufficient for retirement?** I came from a family where money was often not enough, so I'm getting cold feet as I think about actually retiring. Thanks for the help.

I was fired from my job and don't have any desire to work anymore. I am 29M and have $3.1M mostly cash/liquid and about 20% in retirement -- it's a clean number for example I include car loans as liabilities, but not their corresponding assets. Same with jewelry, personal belongings etc. I am about to get married so have a $100K wedding to pay for, we don't own a home and fiance still works, but only making $100K HCOL and don't own a home, no kids, but want kids. Very tough spot to be in, IMO. I don't feel secure for the future, and probably won't until I hit $5M+, but I have no burning desire to go work again. This is not a troll post, I am curious if anyone has a similar experience and can weigh in. Maybe I wait it out, sometimes best thing to do is nothing, and in 2 years we wind up at $5M, maybe there's some critical inflection point where I really need to get a job ASAP even temporarily to best set us up.

This thread is a spot for casual engagement with other community members. It has much more subject latitude than allowed in the main sub in general. Any topics tangentially related to ChubbyFIRE or upper middle class lifestyle are acceptable, as well as basic or early stage questions. Political discussion will be allowed if it is closely related to ChubbyFIRE or financial topics in general, and only if the conversation remains respectful. It is not a free-for all. No spam or self-promotion. All comments must still follow Reddiquette and we will be responding to reported comments with follow-up action as needed. We'd really like to keep this channel open, so please don't abuse it!

Hello all, relatively new to the FIRE world. We are a 40s couple and I'm starting to scrutinize my retirement much more now. My target retirement age would be 57. Does that count for 'early' retirement for this sub? And our target retirement income is 200K a year. Here are my particulars: 1. currently 2.2MM invested across 401K, Roth IRA, and a brokerage. 80% is in the 401K. So a good chunk is not accessible 'early' 2. 3 elementary school kids (important to note since they are expense and can impact our retirement saving). We have about 100K in each 529. Oldest child is 10. I'm heavily leaning towards stopping the investment here. 3. WE have a mortgage (7K all in PTI, but only 5 years into a mortgage) 4. I'm concerned about my long term employment prospects so I have 85K emergency fund (I made this basically 1 year of mortgage expenses) 5. no other consumer debt outside of the mortgage My goals / questions: 1. given our invested now - and my goal for retirement income by age 57 (12 year horizon) I would need 5MMish. I think I'm on track for that and I use a 6% return estimate. Truthfully we have not been great about saving, but maxed our 401ks and rode a great bull market. The market is all over the place and I thought 6% was conservative, but I see others modeling 5%? and inflation doesn't seem to be getting better. Should I use 5? this would change my outlook a bit 2. Should I divert funds from my 401K and into a brokerage to make it accessible early? 3. My retirement income does include my mortgage payment. We live in a HCOL area with high property taxes. While not ideal because we love the area, I'm contemplating using our home equity and moving after the kids are in college to get out of a mortgage payment. I'm anticipating continued expenses we would like to 'consider' at least, for our kids (wedding, family vacations, etc.). this would help in that regard. not having a mtg (or much smaller than 6K) would help. Anyone else made this decision? we live in a 'desierable' area - but I'm not sure how valuable keeping the house longer term would be. If is a better investment to keep longer term; maybe sell much later into retirement we can do that too. We have a 3% mtg. Would there be any benefit to trying to stay in the home?

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